Congratulate Me

Year 2009 is about to end. I didn't post much (again) this year, but surely a lot happened.

Just want to inform that I'm now a very proud member of AIESEC, taking part in the OGX Region :)

Congratulate me and wish me a good year (and much much experiences) ahead!

Cheerio :)
and now I love my life.

Oh By The Way

I'm in love.

Deeeeeply in love with Jason Mraz. LOL. He's just too inspiring.

Now he's the only one setting me to good mood. Because J seems to be mad at me about some things and has been shutting up his mouth for days, but oh well. That's just J.

Cheerio :)

Ups and Downs and ASSignments

Hi people. I don't even care if you read this blog or not. There's not much people who reads this, I don't even think my bf reads this (and I thought he stalked me lol).

Just want to update this blog so suddenly because well, a friend of mine updated hers (DewantiAditya, tyatrical.blogspot.com) and I still don't know how to link people here in blogs -___- I'm such an awful blogger ahaha...

Well just some random updates.

#1 My midtest sucked but somehow I just don't care. Weird. I hate studying and I gotta admit I'm a lazy person, but I'm not a laid-back person. I used to care for my grades more than I care about my weight or look or just anything. I just don't care anymore :/

#2 I still hate my college. Period.

#3 Finding new friends is hard... I got friends but not the 'friends' I expected to have. I need someone to hang out with, not just someone who discuss about philosophical, ideological things or a person who drags me from class to class. Well at least they help me with my homework.

#4 Being lazy doesn't mean I would let anyone get annoyed by my laziness. Move your ass and go away, b*tch. You irritated me. Know what? Beauty+brainless=slut. Yes you are. Admit it. Some people asked me already if they can 'buy' you.

#5 I criticezed and complain too much nowadays but lucky I have Miss Tofu aka Tya to tease around :p

#6 I have an assignment and should be doing it but not willing to do it but I love the lecture but I hate the assignment.

#7 I didn't make it to the EDS, but is now a proud member of ALSA and trying to join AIESEC, though I'm still kinda lost here and there. I'm just not that outgoing or organization-ing kind of person. See, I just want to do something away from my books and things.

#8 I feel fine but messed up but happy but angry but sad but upset but alone but scared but lost but indifferent all at once right now.

My oh my, I should be doing my assignment instead of doing this.
Well, just a simple conclusion: I don't really like the state I'm in now.
Cheerio and keep stalking.

Good Shots

No, I still don't have a proper camera to be a professional photographer.

I just want to update a bit, that I have been studying in UI for about a month and it's been pretty hectic. I'm so not in the mood to talk bout it. I hate the ospek part. I always hate ospeks.

By the way, I was interviewed (okay, it was a walk-in interview) for the EDS, English Debate Society for UI. Yesh, I'm going to be a professional debater instead of photographer. Haha. The interview went great, but I'm still expecting for the good news: me getting accepted in it (and become team with Grace, one of the new student in FHUI who is a national debate champion and is really tall and beautiful. I'm expecting to see her in Miss Universe hehe) and joining a debate tournament--preferably international.

I WON THE SITTA KARINA SWEEPSTAKE AND GOT FREEBOOKS! WOOOHOOOO screw UI, I hate you. I love Sitta Karina.


...but when the gift is coming?

I'm so tired and exhausted and out of words.
cheerio anyway.

Nothing Personal, really.

Jakarta was bombed--again.

JW Marriott and Ritz Carlton was the place the bomb exploded. It was scary. It was sad. It was when Indonesia once again shocked... or maybe not (some people still shop and hang out, including me. I watched HP6 with my friends. But I really was shocked and emotionally unstable, and HP6+being around my friends helped calm me down, so that's the only reason I agreed to go with them. It's alrite if you want to say that I sound munafik but I was praying all the time. But I guess this is okay, kalo semua orang pada dokem di rumah, ekonomi bakal mati sesaat dan efeknya lumayan buruk juga kan?) ?
In twitter, Jakarta and Indonesiaunite become two of the trending topics. Quite proud? Maybe.
Joel Madden tweeted how lovely Indonesia is. Some other foreigners did the same. Happy? Once more, maybe.

Okay. It's quite hard for me to say these things in english. I'm gonna use Bahasa Indonesia.

Apa untuk bersatu dan menjadi Indonesia yang kuat memang dibutuhkan serangan bom dari teroris dulu? Butuh insiden besar yang menelan banyak nyawa dan menghancurkan gedung megah berisi banyak orang asing dan investor atau calon investor, pebisnis, direktur perusahaan besar, para pegawai yang mencari sesuap nasi untuk dirinya dan keluarganya, kejadian yang berpengaruh buruk pada IHSG dan kurs Rupiah serta memiliki kemungkinan besar untuk mengurangi pemasukan negara dari bidang pariwisata untuk menyadarkan bahwa kalau kita tidak bersatu, maka Indonesia tidak bisa menjadi bangsa yang kuat?

Sungguh, saya bertanya-tanya pada diri saya sendiri, dan saya harap kalian juga bertanya pada diri kalian.

Apakah kita seharusnya berterima kasih pada teroris yang tindakannya justru meningkatkan kadar nasionalisme dan membuat semangat bersatu kita (yang sebenarnya sudah dari dulu dikobarkan para generasi awal, antara lain melalui 'Bhinneka Tunggal Ika' dan juga Sumpah Pemuda) yang selama ini sepertinya mengendur kembali menguat (walau mungkin hanya euforia sesaat, tapi siapa yang tahu?) dan walau banyak nyawa yang hilang dan banyak kerugian secara materi, kini bangsa kita menjadi sadar bahwa selama ini kita adalah bangsa yang rapuh dan masih belum bergandengan tangan, dan sekarang (sepertinya) mulai (kembali) menjunjung tinggi nilai persatuan dan kesatuan?

Apakah butuh pemberitahuan dari negara lain bahwa bangsa kita adalah bangsa yang ramah, bahwa negeri kita memiliki banyak SDA dan adalah tanah yang indah dan penuh pesona untuk kita menyadarinya dan memanfaatkannya sebaik mungkin?

Apakah ini semua hanya untuk sesaat? Berapa lama semangat ini bertahan? Seberapa besar spirit Indonesia Unite ini berpengaruh pada bangsa kita ke depan?

Apa yang sebetulnya ada dalam hati nurani kita?

Jujur, saya bukan nasionalis sejati. Saya bukan orang yang selalu mendukung pemerintah. Bahkan, saya sempat membenci pemerintah karena Ujian Nasional dan karena beberapa hal lainnya. Saya juga pernah berpikiran untuk tinggal di luar negeri. Saya juga pernah berharap saya bukan orang Indonesia.
Tapi kemudian saya berpikir lagi.
Jika semua orang berpikir dengan meninggalkan Indonesia maka masalah akan selesai, maka siapa yang akan 'membereskan' negara ini? Kalau semua orang berpendidikan tinggal di luar negeri, siapa yang akan mencerdaskan bangsa ini? Kalau semua orang mengaku bukan Indonesia, maka kita ini siapa?
Saya tidak membenci Indonesia. Yang saya benci adalah keadaannya, keburukannya yang harus diakui memang ada.
Saya mencintai tanah air saya. Kalaupun harus tinggal di luar negeri, saya ingin bisa merepresentasikan Indonesia sebagai bangsa yang baik.

Saya ingin menyatakan diri bahwa saya orang Indonesia dengan bangga.

Saya harap semua orang Indonesia berpikiran sama. Kita masih harus membangun bangsa ini. Siapapun Presiden kita, apapun agama kita, siapapun kita, apapun pekerjaan kita, apapun suku kita, di manapun kita berada, kita harus tetap menjunjung tinggi persatuan bangsa, mendukung Indonesia, dan mendorong bangsa kita agar selalu lebih baik. Mendukung pembangunan dan ikut terlibat di dalamnya--tapi bukan untuk merecoki atau merusuhi ya :)

I tried hard to say what I have in mind. Therefore, I might make some mistakes but I wish you will apologize any mistake I made. This is not everything I have in mind right now. If I do, I might even write a book. And this is just a very humble opinion from one of the Indonesian youth.

I love Indonesia. I love Jakarta.

Dan kalau ada yang merasa tersindir, tolong baca lagi judul posting-an ini.
Nothing personal, really!
:)

ps. Thank you to Dewanty Aditya (tyatrical.blogspot.com) for giving me inspirations, also to people I follow on twitter (Maylaffayza, plisdehjkt, jakartatoday, qronoz, and much more) for giving me informations and inspirations!
pps. Thank you to anyone who started the #indonesiaunite on twitter and to everyone who keep the spirit and the love for Indonesia inside them. We are one. We are Indonesia. Bhinneka Tunggal Ika!

WANT.

Today's menu:

Breakfast: 4 pcs BENG BENG wafer--what? I have a LOACKER and I didn't even remember -__-

Lunch: Lay's seaweed+2 box of raisins

Dinner: ...



I WANT SOME NASI KEBULI (or that salmon pepper from pepper lunch)!!!!


Geez. Hungry and deadbored.
Cheerio.

I should have gone to Tebet anyway. tsk.


Cheerio once more.



ps. okay, for you who I asked to see the commit suicide guidance, please refer to the post down there
II
V

Random #1

Iya, ini post yang sangat random yang (mungkin) akan muncul secara berkala (kala gue lagi bosen, tepatnya).

What's hot:
1. Gue tadi nyontreng dan sekarang jari kelingking kiri gue ungu. It wasn't fun (yaiyalah, jam 7.30 dia baru briefing? Mati aja lu suer) dan nyontrengnya kagak nyampe lima menit (HUUUUUU emang maunya berapa lama?) dan tintanya kurang bagus. Tuh tinta kalo langsung dilap langsung ilang, kalo kagak dilap nempel ke mana-mana. Anjrot. Gue liat di berita, di daerah mana gitu, katanya pake KUNYIT.
>>>What to learn:
Senantiasa lakukan sebagaimana nenek moyangmu lakukan. Jaga tradisi. KALO NENEK MOYANG LU AJA NGEWARNAIN JARI PAKE KUNYIT, KAGAK USAH SOK PAKE TINTA DEH. MAHAL.

eh itu sih masak ya, bukan ngewarnain jari hmm

2. Gue officially anak UI, Fakultas Hukum. Dan ternyata temen gue orang gila semua
>>>What to learn:
Udah lah, akuin aja kalo jenius sama idiot itu emang beda tipis. Lo bisa kadang jadi sangat cerdas, tapi di lain waktu lo akan sangat PINTAR. saking pintarnya sampe lo heran kenapa temen-temen lo berseru, 'PINTER BANGET LO SUMPAH, NYET.'

dan kata ahli tafsir, itu artinya: bego lu.

3. Gue mesti salat. Bye.
>>>What to learn:
Apapun yang terjadi, utamakan ibadah. Karena 1usaha+9doa lebih enak dibanding 9usaha+1doa. Toh hasilnya sama. Ga percaya? Coba aja. Lagian emang nadah tangan ke Tuhan itu ngga hina dan lebih baik daripada nadah tangan ke lintah darat. Seriously.

Cheerio dan jangan bunuh diri. Please. Gue mohon. Jangan bunuh diri sekarang sebelum lu nikah, punya anak, punya cucu, dan punya perusahaan sendiri. Apalagi kalo belum nulis surat wasiat yang isinya ngasih tauin supaya harta lo diwarisin ke gue (jangan lupa kalo bikin surat wasiat bukan kayak bikin surat cinta, you should meet a legal to make one) dan lo belum yakin lo ga dicelup-celup ke neraka dulu sebelum dimasukin surga. Suer, lo bakal nyesel kalo bunuh diri sekarang.

Oh gila emang gue.

Cheerio.
Padahal gue sendiri lagi nekuk muka gara-gara bosen.

Do I?

I woke up this morning with a question in my mind. Do I inspire people?

I always try to inspire people, but it seems like I'm always the one who ended up inspired. I say this and that to my mom and she always have a damn good answer for me, I say this and that to my friends and they always be my personal critics.

And so this blog. I tried to write something inspiring, but maybe I'm just too naive or I just can't hold my ego from being so silly. I do think my blog is a waste of time--no one reads this anyway.

The only reason I keep this blog is to write, and delete. and write again, and delete again. On and off. That's just soooo me, being experimental and always try this and that. I said I wanted to do this in the first time, and then I stopped and turn my back. After that? I do something else. again.

I love trying something new. I easily bored by something--one of my reason to study law is because I'll be able to meet new cases and solve them in many ways. I need something to keep me busy, yet it has to constantly--or spontaneously?--change.

What do I love? Words. Gems. Debates. Talking. listening. Jewels. Clothes. Smiles. Laughs. Tears. Machines. Watches. Books. I love just everything. I even love art, though I can't sing nor paint.

I easily get inspired, but not easily interested in something. I am contrary, or maybe people would call me riddiculous. And I still don't know if I inspire people or not, because people usually don't say it if they get inspired by something or someone--except asked.

I think I just have to keep doing this and that, so I would know what I love and just keep getting inspired for the time being.

I call it learning.

Cheerio!
:)

One Question

Do we need tons of reasons to make a decision? No, I do what I think is good. I do no harm, I do good. But why people keep questioning?

oh well

Cheerio!
:)

Yes, I let you go.

Just when I feel I like you
The time I think 'well, it's you'
The moment I say 'gee, look at you'

Just when we are friends and the love between us is something no one can understand
The time desires are gone and everything couldn't go wrong
The moment we know that for each other we are there to sit down side by side and talk

Just when I think we should never be apart
The time we think friendship does last forever
The moment we want to keep this for each other

Just when we have to go
The time is now to move on
The moment we grow up and leave each other has come

Just when I think I am going to cry
The time we walk a different path
The moment we separate

Just when I think and think again
Comes the time I understand
That the moment has come

The moment of our lives
The moment we survive
The moment we go on and live our fate and keep our faith and stand up no matter what

The moment of our beginning

Just when I think again
About the time that we had as friends
And the moments that we treasures more than gold and diamonds

I know that this won't be a forever goodbye
For we try
To do our best in what we do best and I can not lie

That our friendship will never die

And yes, I let you go
And it's for you to remember
For you, I will be there

----------

Dedicated to my best friends: Adzima, Kirana, Dyang.
And to the times we had together, who says nothing last forever?

Cheerio and have fun with your lives, dear :)

Newest News

I'm officially NOT a highschool teenager anymore and is the happiest university student-to-be.

The scores' not out yet, so watch it. I wish I'd be one of the top three. Wouldn't it be great if I get on the stage three times?

:)
Cheerio!

Thirteen is Lucky

Why?

Because that's the day I will graduate from highschool. YEAAH!

I love highschool. Most of my stories' backgrounds are highschool times, and this is my MOST productive time... even though I have finished no novel. But I made a lot of poets and poems and short stories, and read my MOST interesting choice of books, and have the BEST friends ever.

I just love highschool, even though it's not perfect.

But perfection is boring, isn't it? :)

Wish me luck for the result--though I think I will pass. I had studied a lot for that exam.

Cheerio!
xoxo and love is in the air :)

Lines to Love

Well as we all know, Twilight Saga has been a relly big hit. The book was--or still is?--a best seller, and the movie hit box office. I was wondering; it was only a story about vampire falling in love to a human child, what's so special? I love it too, and I really really wonder how did Stephenie Meyer hooked us up by those four really thick book? Even people who doesn't like to read loves Twilight and they would at least fall in love with one of the vampires--or werewolves.

Okay, this is no book recommendation because Twilight obviously needs no recommendation to be popular.

Pages of the books flow as easy as river flows downhill, story goes as smooth as silk, and I know that I'm exagerrating but how can someone not fall in love with a person that will promise to love you forever?

Yes, the lines Edward Cullen said in the book is the main reason we all fall for him. Stephenie Meyer must be a really romantic person for she knows what and how to say something. I always think that people are jailed by words. I always say, I love words but it's an ironic situation how it makes me prisoner.

There are just not enough words to express feelings, but if you get to know how to say what you feel, I'm sure you're a really lucky person. You can speak to people whatever you want to say, and you get to write any story you want. And by being able to say what you want to, you can express yourself and let people drown in your words, just like Stephenie Meyer!

It's just a humble writing tip from me. Because Littlemiss Miracle LOVES the miracles words have :)

Happy writing and
Cheerio!

ps. I pick Twilight as an example because I've just seen the New Moon trailer today, and love it! :)

At Last!

This blog is officially reformated.

Why?

Because I want to. I hope I'll stick to this format longer than ever. I will post stories and books recommendations, and stop 'curhat'-ing here! Haha... But maybe I won't be able to hold myself from doing that.

I'm just a Littlemiss anyway :)

Cheerio!

To Sing

I always want to sing for someone.
I always want someone sing for me. And only for me.
I always want to write a song about me and someone else.
I always want someone to write a song about us.

Sometimes, I feel so lonely and my imagination goes wild. There a lot of things crossing in my mind. To sing is one of them.

A song can cure a lot of pain. A song can cure hearts. A song can cure people. A song can cure me.

A song does a lot. A song can show you the world. Can show you the depth of a heart. A song tells a lot. A song tells you the love, the hatred, the smile, the tears, the angst, the laugh, the yearning, the loss, the right, the wrong. A song can turn you into someone you're not.

And is it wrong for someone to yearn another one to sing for herself?
Just so she'll know someone loves her.

--just some random poem I made, and not even a poem.
Haha...
I love to sing, but I sing really badly. So, I 'write' this 'songs' as good as I can in a format I understand best, and this is one of the example.
I don't need to have great voice to make songs, do I?

Cheerio!

Dead Alive

Kalimat ini klise banget--sebagai awalan blog, tulisan, atau apapun--dan sebetulnya gue kurang suka:
Pernah ga lo ngerasa hidup lo ga sempurna?
Pernah ga lo ngerasa kehilangan tujuan?
Pernah ga lo ngerasa pengen mati aja?

Buat gue, sekarang lah saatnya.

Gue bukan orang yang perfeksionis. Bukan juga orang yang punya determinasi yang kuat. Bukan juga orang yang punya tujuan yang jelas. Dan gue orang yang bisa nerima kekecewaan dengan mudah.
Gue bukan orang yang suka mimpiin hal-hal yang muluk. Gue suka omong kosong. Gue bahkan ga suka bikin janji.
Gue ga bikin resolusi taun baru, dan ngga bikin resolusi pas ultah juga. Gue ga peduli sama global warming--kecuali fakta bahwa kelas gue makin panas dan gue makin pengen sekolah dipasangin AC sentral aja--dan gue ga peduli Obama dipilih jadi Presiden Amrik.
Gue kelas tiga SMA. Kelas duabelas, tepatnya. Gue benci belajar. Gue capek. Gue butuh tidur, tapi otak gue ga pernah berhenti kerja. Gue ga pernah bisa ngendaliin otak gue, dan rasanya gue lah yang dikendaliin sama otak sialan ini.
Sebagai hasilnya, gue (kayaknya) mulai rusak.

Kacau? Iya. Secara harfiah gue rusak. I don't do drugs, no premarriage sex, not even smoking. Gue ga melakukan hal-hal bodoh kayak gitu. Tapi kayaknya gue merusak hal yang paling penting: pemikiran gue, pendidikan gue, karir gue, masa depan gue. Cuma karena apa?

Karena gue ngerasa bosen dan ga tertarik buat ngapa-ngapain.

Gue pernah bilang ke seseorang yang bolak-balik ngomel, 'life is unfair!'. Waktu itu gue pikir dia bego banget. Menurut gue saat itu, hidup itu adil. Hidup itu menyenangkan. Life was the best thing ever happened to me. Dia aja yang kebanyakan mau sampe berpikir life is unfair. Jadi waktu itu gue ngomong ke dia, 'if life's fair, where's the fun?'

Sekarang rasanya gue kayak nampar diri gue sendiri. Gue mulai capek sama segala hal yang terjadi di sekitar gue yang kayaknya dibicarakan secara berlebihan dan diterima otak gue secara lebih berlebihan dibanding penyampaiannya. Isi otak gue mulai busuk. Mulai isi sampah. Mulut gue lebih ringan buat mencerca, menghina, dan mencela, dan gue ga merasa bersalah. Gue ngerasa bisa ngomong apa aja ke siapa aja buat ngelampiasin amarah gue yang bener-bener tanpa alasan. Amarah tolol gue karena gue ga bisa ngerti apa mau gue sendiri.

Ini bukan gue. Bener-bener bukan gue. Bahkan setiap abis gue bicara gue baru mikir. DULU gue mikir sebelum bicara. Sekarang ngga. Gue ngerasa mulut gue berubah bareng sama otak gue berubah. Dan gue ngerasa dikhianatin sama otak gue sendiri. Untung hati gue ga berkhianat: buat gue yang salah masih salah dan yang bener masih bener. Tapi tetep aja otak gue nyuruh gue buat ga peduli sama itu semua, fck it.

Bahkan blog gue isinya mulai kayak sampah. Gue aja ga tau gue lagi nulis apaan. Yang gue tau, gue harus nulis. Harus. Meski gue tau ga ada yang baca kecuali adek2an gue.

Kata orang-orang, gue cerdas. Tapi gue selalu ngerasa diri gue bodoh. Gue ga tau apa-apa kecuali hal-hal ga penting. Gue ga bisa ngerjain matematik. Gue ga tau siapa David Ricardo. Gue ga hapal rumus buat nyari DI dari GNP. Gue ga hapal sejarah Islam. Gue ga tau jenis-jenis sungai dan laut. Gue ga apal ibukota negara pecahan Yugoslavia--negaranya aja ga inget. Gue ga tau cara ngitung harga berlian. Gue ga ngerti cara baca indeks saham. Gue ga ngerti mesti ngapain kalo mau bikin acara--apa yang mesti pertama dilakukan. Gue bener-bener ngerasa ga ada gunanya gue dilahirin, dan kayaknya bagus juga kalo gue mati cepet biar ga ngerepotin siapa-siapa lebih lama lagi.

Gue butuh pertolongan. Gue tau itu. Tapi gue ga mau ke psikolog. Gue udah tau mereka bakal ngomong apa, dan menurut gue mereka sama sekali ga menolong. Gue butuh pertolongan dan sementara ini gue cuma bisa lari ke Tuhan. Sayangnya Tuhan kan ngga berhubungan langsung sama gue. Gue harus cari perpanjangan tangan Tuhan; siapapun dia.

Mungkin kedengerannya emang berlebihan: apa sih masalah anak SMA? Paling urusan sepele. Ujian. PR. Bete sama orang. Ini. Itu. Blah. Blah. Blah. Tapi kalo diakumulasi, tambah lagi--seperti yang gue bilang di atas--dicerna secara berlebihan oleh otak yang hiperaktif, rasanya berat juga. Capek juga. Bosen juga. Marah juga. Pengen nangis? Ngga. Gue ga pengen nangis. Gue lebih pengen ngejedotin kepala gue ke tembok, sampe berdarah kalo perlu. Atau gigit lengan gue sendiri nyampe ungu. Tapi jelas gue masih cukup waras buat nahan diri gue dari hal-hal sebodoh itu. Walau gue ga berhasil nyelamatin diri gue dari rasa pesimis yang berlebihan.

Penyelesaiannya? Mana gue tau. Bokap nyokap gue kerja; kakak gue kuliah; adek gue sekolah; sodara-sodara semua punya kehidupan masing-masing. This kind of life is the life i've been living for the past 17 years. Gue udah biasa pulang ke rumah yang kosong atau pulang ke rumah Nenek gue yang sepi. Gue udah biasa sama rasa 'kosong' saat temen-temen gue yang main ke rumah pulang, dan rumah mendadak sunyi. Gue udah biasa duduk di meja makan sendirian dan bukannya makan tapi justru baca TV guide.

Tapi gue akan sangat berterimakasih andai ada orang yang duduk di samping gue, nepuk bahu gue, dan bilang, 'lo baik-baik aja.'

Tributes

Just some tributes I wanna give. I'm trying out The Hundreds' Bobbyhundreds style blogging: pictures say it all.

Helloo new year. sparks. fireworks. sparks.



The best is never the last.




Idiots. Retards. Or just call it 'having fun'.





enough for now, there will be tribute2: supreme sickness.
watch and get sick.

lol

signing out :)