Saturday, June 19, 2010

Moving, but not Leaving

I moved my blog to this place.

Just because I think everything is easier on posterous. Yeah, I started to post there now, but it doesn't mean I'm leaving this one. I love the domain name so I'm keeping it. Haha

Cheerio everyone and thanks to Shirin who reminds me to post about my new blog :)

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Quick Peek

puisi tentang sebuah kelakuan rakyat indonesia pada pahlawannya

maafkan rakyatmu

satu hal yang kuherankan
suatu yang sangat aneh
suatu yang sangat tidak wajar

yaitu...
orang indonesia
yang tidak mau mengenang jasa pahlawannya
mereka memasang patung orang dari negri lain
tapi mereka tidak memasang patung pahlawannya

bahkan yang lebih aneh lagi...
merekamemasang patung hewan
tetapi tidakmemasang patung pahlawannya
merekamenyambut kedatangan orang luar negri
tapi tidak menyambut kedatangan presidennya

apa mereka lupa dengan jasa pahlawannya?
apa mereka lupa dengan jasa pahlawannya?
apa mereka tidak tahu perjuangan para pahlawannya
saat Indonesia dijajah?

pahlawan-pahlawanku...
maafkan rakyatmu ini
tindakan rakyatmu ini sangat tidak sopan
mereka tidak menghormati pahlawannya

aku berjanji
jika aku menjadi pemimpin indonesia ini nanti
akan kupimpin rakyat Indonesia dengan baik
Indonesia akan menjadi yang tentram,
tenang, indah, bersih, dan mereka
akan mengenang pahlawannya

---
bukan. ini bukan gue yang nulis. This was written by my little sister, Cahaya Virdha. She's a 5th grader, going to be 10 years old next May 11th.
You know what, she might not be the brightest but I know somehow she's like the radiant moon. Silent, but giving many many effects to the life on earth. She's much different to me and our oldest sister.
I know she'll be more than me. Much more.

Cheerios :)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Unplanned

Guess that's what my future would be like.

I still hate plans. I still love spontaneous actions.

But one thing I don't mind to make plan about: having you in my life. Your smile, your laugh, your anger, your tears, your business, your ignorance, your silence, your silly jokes, your mood devastating caps lock, your frowning eyebrows, your writings, your voice, your friends, your disturbing existence, your verbose words, your randomness...

at the end, I hope we'll end up as great friends.
Forever.
And that is something I can't plan.

Cheerio
And showers of attention to you even though you don't care.

Small post #2

I'm getting everything. I feel better, yet even more confused.
Bedazzled. Entwined.

Is this 4 years going to be worthy enough living?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Just

The turbulences and the tornado swept everything away, leaving only some ugly marks and sheer agitation of hopes.
Darling, you just can't have everything, can you?
As the raindrop vapours and banished, as the sun rises and beams, wipe away all the devastating dreams.
Stop your waiting and do a moving, darling you just can't long for everything can you?
Darkness may come and the moon is blinded by silver lights.
Was it your sight? Was it the night? Or darling, were you blinded?
So as far as we go and as high as the falcon flies, you draw the drawing and paint the painting and keep them locked in your crate.
Hey no, memories aren't supposed to go. Because darling, I believe this is just a twist of fate.



Just another just I try to convince myself.


---
To some people out there.
Cheerio.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What if...

...you had no where to go, stuck in a place you don't like, doing the thing you're not interested in, but at the end you can't let go of what you have right now?

I'm in my deepest hell about letting go or not.

And yes. It's about my college life.

Not-so-cheerio but anyway good night, sleep tight.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

And A Visual DNA




---
it's not like me to post this much in a very short time.
Guess I'm just in the mood to.

Cheerio

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Siapa yang Tertangkap?

"Adek mau ditilang aja, atau mau saya bantu di sini?"

Pernyataan yang mengejutkan yang dilontarkan oleh penegak hukum dari kepolisian.

Dalam separo detik yang cepat berbagai pikiran melintas di kepala saya.

Bagi orang picik, 'bantuan' ini adalah jalan paling cepat.
Mempermudah urusan, waktu, biaya, dan tenaga bisa dihemat.
Bagi orang picik ia akan memilih dibantu mumpung ada peluang.
Pikirnya; toh dia untung dapat uang, saya untung bisa cepat pulang.
Bagi orang picik apalah arti selembar uang.
Apalagi kalau dibanding harus hadir dalam sidang atau membayar tilang.

Namun mungkin ada yang tidak setuju. Setidaknya saya.
Saya salah; saya seharusnya dihukum. Sepantasnya dihukum.
Saya salah; apapun usaha saya untuk berkelit, saya memang salah.
Saya salah dan saya mengakui itu.
Saya salah; lebih salah lagi kalau saya menyuap.

Tapi kalau hanya dengan alasan malas hadir ke sidang atau tidak mau membayar tilang lalu saya mengiyakan 'bantuan'?
Hanya karena takut dimarahi orangtua lalu saya nurut saja mengiyakan?

Tidak bisa. Tidak mau.

Saya bukan orang yang idealis. Tidak juga apatis.
Saya tidak setuju dengan korupsi. Tapi saya juga tahu gaji mereka sedikit.
Saya bukan pemerhati sosial. Bukan berarti saya tidak peduli sosial.

"Ditilang saja pak. Saya tahu saya salah."

Tidak perlu pendidikan tinggi untuk tahu mana benar mana salah.
Tidak perlu jadi mahasiswa hukum untuk menolak menyuap.
Tidak perlu banyak argumen untuk menyangkal.

---

Polisi itu mungkin punya anak. Anak yang bangga pada profesi ayahnya.
Kalau ia punya anak, tentu ia punya istri. Istri yang juga bangga pada suaminya.

Saya tidak mau menyuap, bukan karena alasan yang berat.
Saya hanya tidak ingin anak dan istrinya makan uang haram.
Itu saja.

(as posted in my FB notes. No, this time there won't be cheerios. Sorry.)

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Pasirmukti River and Mamay

I went to Pasirmukti last Friday. It was not a choice--I thought mom was going to take me to puncak or anywhere else with good food and cold climate (BROMO! How I wish it's holiday already so I can runaway to Bromo!) but instead, she took me to Pasirmukti. Pasirmukti is an 'agrowisata' park, just like Mekarsari (yeah I went there too, was quite nice especially the Honeydews :p). Located in Cibinong, it was near the Cibinong cement manufacturer. Don't ask me how mom knew the place, it was hiddeng but the cars which were going there in front of my car was an Alphard and a BMW, so I guess the place was kinda popular.

When we arrived, the first thing we--me, mom, and my li'l sis--did was eat some lunch since I only had some martabak in the morning and my sister hadn't had anything for breakfast. The nasi goreng was quite nice but I couldn't stand the prawns, it smelled bad but then mom told me it's because I'm not used to not-fresh seafoods. Well gotta admit that I hardly eat seafoods anyway ahaha.

After that, I was thinking that me and my sis were gonna play something like ATV or flying fox. In a moment, I was not so excited because it was something usual for me. I don't get the excitement of it since I can find it just anywhere (the one in Outbond Holic ancol was waaaay cooler). But then mom took us to a river nearby--she also brought a box of food--and called a little girl named Mamay.

Apparently, mom and my sis came here the day before. They met this little girl named Mamay, a 3rd grade local girl who lived just up the river. She ate the food mom brought her, and then showed us around. She knew every little inch of the river. She told us where to be careful because it was slippery, where to walk so we wouldn't be caught by the river current, she even had her favourite pool with small but strong streams that made it like a jacuzzi. It was really cool. She also told us there were a stone where we could slide and which stone are safe to sleep on without having to gulp any water ;)

A moment later, her friends came and we all played together. They were all my sister's age, but they are so skinny and their skin are dark--guess because they play in the river everyday. But then Mamay told me that everyday she only eats rice with kerupuk. Oh God was I surprised when she told me that because she could stand the strong river currents while I couldn't! Mamay could swim the fastest, dive the deepest, and hold breath the longest in the water. She could walk really fast across the river and she knew where she could jump from a stone to the river safely--because there are rocks inside the river. And she knew when the flood would come and told us to finish. Her friends also knew how to tell (airnya jadi hangat, kak. Kalau airnya hangat, berarti sebentar lagi banjir datang--said Iis, one of Mamay's friend to me. Yes she talked in a really formal Indonesian).

It was fun, but it was also sad for me to know that these little girls lives nearby a very big agrowisata park (which was expensive) without getting any advantages nor help considering their poor subsistence. They are really nice, pure, innocent, and curious and are the most polite and cheerful kids I've ever met. They made me some things using grey clay--yes, the stone in the river was the main source for the Cibinong cement industry--like cakes, tumpeng, houses, even Mamay made me a godzilla! :) They are sooo creative and I wish they could continue their study and broaden their knowledge, I believe pure hearts like them can bring Indonesia to a better situation. Because that's what Indonesia really need: pure hearts. As for Mamay, I wish she could be a swimming athlete. I'm sure Phelps would drop his jaw when he sees Mamay swimming (and she learnt how to swim by herself! :D )

And I can't help but to smile and thank them as Monita said before my family went home,
'Hati-hati di jalan, semoga keselamatan selalu bersama ibuk dan kakak!'
Cheerio :)

ps. I love them sooo much I wish I could go there again as soon as possible! :)
pps. If you're planning to swim in Pasirmukti's river, mind this: don't wear your favourite jeans. The rocks was hard enought to break jeans. I was shocked when I saw my jeans was teared after playing there.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Small post #1

"...sendirian gw ca, diri sendiri ngelawan anak2 lainnya."

These words came from Ruth Ayu and really inspires me. She has her own stance. Always.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Secret Thank You

Never, I say to myself, never ever fall for a stranger. It's something I restrict myself from really really badly.
But then I just can't help myself to admire some people. Actually it's good to know that such a good, decent, and smart person like you does exist.

No, I'm not in love with you, okay? I'm not in love with anyone else but my God right now, but the idea of being close to you is something I can't help but wish for. I know that you'll bring good fortunes to me, and not just fortunes but you'll bring the best of mostly everything to me. Don't ask why. I just know.
Well, anyway... I know that you don't read my blog. And that's my reason for writing this here:

I thank you, for forcing me to be a better person. I thank you, for making me ashamed whenever I become a pessimist. I thank you, for everything I learn from you indirectly. I thank you, for the smile and the laugh you make me do. I thank you, for your call, your birthday surprise to me, your jokes, your mood devastating caps locks, for the interesting knowledge and opinions you share, for the decent behaviour you've showed, for the sparkling eyes filled with ambitions...
I thank you for being who you are right now.

And I just wish I had the courage to tell you all these.
Cheerio, and toast for the person who excels at everything! :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sometimes

Sometimes I wish God never restricted suicide
So I can commit it

Sometimes I wish I could ask someone to set my dreams and goals
So I can blame them when I failed

Sometimes I wish I could be someone else for a moment
So I'm not the one everyone points at when I do something wrong

Sometimes I wish I was smarter
So I don't have to study as hard as I do

Sometimes I wish I was wealthier
So I don't have to work for a living

Sometimes I wish I was popular
So I don't have to introduce myself

Sometimes I wish I don't wish too much
So I don't have to keep telling myself that it's humane to be wishful

---

Just a very tiny itsy bit(ch)sy part of my mind.
Not in a good mood.
I need a change.
Cheerio and remember, heaven and hell is as near as you can imagine

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Tomorrow and the days after it

Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it. I want to stay at home or just go somewhere alone. I want to get my old, laid back me again and just don't care about celebrating it the usual style. I wanna do something different; visit my angel, take a tour to museums and galleries, try new food... I just don't wanna celebrate it the fancy way.

But oh well, most of all I just want to enjoy myself more than usual tomorrow. And the days after. I just want to live my life to the fullest, blast it.

Especially with you. Yes. You. If only you would call me and sing me happy birthday song :/ but I know that you won't, that's just so you. So busy and far away from me. We are stranger to each other anyway but still a slight of you might make my day tomorrow.

Or meet up with J and M. Both of you are my inspirations. Sorry for what I've done, my stupidness and everything.

Cheerio
And happy birthday to me.

ps. thank you Mom for the greatest gift of all. You always know me best. I love you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

A Little About You

You are like carbon dioxide. I don't need you, but I just can't get away from you.

You are like the darkness, I don't want you but the world wouldn't be complete without you.

You are like the shadow. I sometimes don't realize, but you are always around.

You are like the matryoshka doll. You don't show what's in you all at once, you surprise me by every little detail.

You are like my laptop. You don't cling to me, however at the end you'd pull me back to you because I'm the one who clings to you.

You are like the moon. Radiant, reflecting what is in my mind.

You are like the grass. Covering every inch of my heart and keep it in place.

You are like the flawed diamond. Imperfect, but still beautiful.

You are like... you. Just the person who prisons me with my feelings at the end.

---

Cheerio and now I still don't get it whether I really love you or not, please, help me.

2010 and Love Never Ends

I know everyone have posted their writings about new year like, few weeks ago. But who cares? There's no specific rule that pressures me to write. I write when I want/need to. And so here goes.

It's 22nd of January already, nearly the end of the month. Time passes really fast, huh? I haven't make new year resolution or such thing... To be honest, I never make any. I just want to live a better life and about how I'll do it, let's conclude it in 'Do good, do no harm, think before you act and trust God more than everything'.

But well, I can't remember since when this has become my habit but... 25th of January is my birthday. Last year I had a blast when my friends suddenly appeared in the middle of the night just to surprise me (this year I'll lock my door. I hate it if my sleep's disturbed but I have to admit I was happy that day. I still hate that my sleep was disturbed, though. Haha) and it was fun.

Fun is the only thing I can use to describe events. I hardly feel excited, most of the time I'm just interested and well, I just think that life is kinda fun right now so yeah, as long as I'm enjoying a thing I'd say it's fun and I love it.

Okay. Out of topic. Sorry.

I've been writing letters for myself to be read in the next 10 years (as if I'd remember, maybe I'll just read them all at once when I'm 25+). This is a good way to 'save' yourself and to spill out everything about you, you know. Write using pen so you can't erase a thing. Don't type so you can really read the emotion, the passion, the tears, the smiles, everything. Just do it manually, spontaneously, and enjoy it.

I can write pages for this thing. The best thing? I can evaluate myself. To see how my mind works, how my heart keeps things, how I communicate with people... just everything. And I can 'save' the memories about people I love, too. I know sometimes I say that I hate B, or maybe I love R (soooo random), but actually I think people have to admit that they can't help to love someone, even their enemies. We have the love to fight with them and will 'lose' something if they are not around. Admit it.

See, this is why I become optimistic: love is everywhere, in any shape, in everyone, and it actually just doesn't end.

And for you who I'm in love with now
No, I'm not missing you and I'm lying.
You can understand it in any way you want. It was meant to be ambiguous.
Cheerio and I love you.

ps. Thank you Shirin my beloved senior and AIESEC UI LCP for reading my blog. It's amazing and surprising to know that someone actually reads this mumblings.
pps. This post is so pointless, I know. I just felt like writing so I did.
ppps. I really want to tell stories about the AIESEC Management Training in Puncak but I'm just too lazy to type all of them. sowwwyyy
pppps. I'm obsessed with Chev Estate but I know that dad wouldn't buy me that car. See, Pandawa would look like Estate but with a bit more details. Yes. Pandawa. The car of my dreams.