Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it. I want to stay at home or just go somewhere alone. I want to get my old, laid back me again and just don't care about celebrating it the usual style. I wanna do something different; visit my angel, take a tour to museums and galleries, try new food... I just don't wanna celebrate it the fancy way.
But oh well, most of all I just want to enjoy myself more than usual tomorrow. And the days after. I just want to live my life to the fullest, blast it.
Especially with you. Yes. You. If only you would call me and sing me happy birthday song :/ but I know that you won't, that's just so you. So busy and far away from me. We are stranger to each other anyway but still a slight of you might make my day tomorrow.
Or meet up with J and M. Both of you are my inspirations. Sorry for what I've done, my stupidness and everything.
Cheerio
And happy birthday to me.
ps. thank you Mom for the greatest gift of all. You always know me best. I love you.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
A Little About You
You are like carbon dioxide. I don't need you, but I just can't get away from you.
You are like the darkness, I don't want you but the world wouldn't be complete without you.
You are like the shadow. I sometimes don't realize, but you are always around.
You are like the matryoshka doll. You don't show what's in you all at once, you surprise me by every little detail.
You are like my laptop. You don't cling to me, however at the end you'd pull me back to you because I'm the one who clings to you.
You are like the moon. Radiant, reflecting what is in my mind.
You are like the grass. Covering every inch of my heart and keep it in place.
You are like the flawed diamond. Imperfect, but still beautiful.
You are like... you. Just the person who prisons me with my feelings at the end.
---
Cheerio and now I still don't get it whether I really love you or not, please, help me.
You are like the darkness, I don't want you but the world wouldn't be complete without you.
You are like the shadow. I sometimes don't realize, but you are always around.
You are like the matryoshka doll. You don't show what's in you all at once, you surprise me by every little detail.
You are like my laptop. You don't cling to me, however at the end you'd pull me back to you because I'm the one who clings to you.
You are like the moon. Radiant, reflecting what is in my mind.
You are like the grass. Covering every inch of my heart and keep it in place.
You are like the flawed diamond. Imperfect, but still beautiful.
You are like... you. Just the person who prisons me with my feelings at the end.
---
Cheerio and now I still don't get it whether I really love you or not, please, help me.
2010 and Love Never Ends
I know everyone have posted their writings about new year like, few weeks ago. But who cares? There's no specific rule that pressures me to write. I write when I want/need to. And so here goes.
It's 22nd of January already, nearly the end of the month. Time passes really fast, huh? I haven't make new year resolution or such thing... To be honest, I never make any. I just want to live a better life and about how I'll do it, let's conclude it in 'Do good, do no harm, think before you act and trust God more than everything'.
But well, I can't remember since when this has become my habit but... 25th of January is my birthday. Last year I had a blast when my friends suddenly appeared in the middle of the night just to surprise me (this year I'll lock my door. I hate it if my sleep's disturbed but I have to admit I was happy that day. I still hate that my sleep was disturbed, though. Haha) and it was fun.
Fun is the only thing I can use to describe events. I hardly feel excited, most of the time I'm just interested and well, I just think that life is kinda fun right now so yeah, as long as I'm enjoying a thing I'd say it's fun and I love it.
Okay. Out of topic. Sorry.
I've been writing letters for myself to be read in the next 10 years (as if I'd remember, maybe I'll just read them all at once when I'm 25+). This is a good way to 'save' yourself and to spill out everything about you, you know. Write using pen so you can't erase a thing. Don't type so you can really read the emotion, the passion, the tears, the smiles, everything. Just do it manually, spontaneously, and enjoy it.
I can write pages for this thing. The best thing? I can evaluate myself. To see how my mind works, how my heart keeps things, how I communicate with people... just everything. And I can 'save' the memories about people I love, too. I know sometimes I say that I hate B, or maybe I love R (soooo random), but actually I think people have to admit that they can't help to love someone, even their enemies. We have the love to fight with them and will 'lose' something if they are not around. Admit it.
See, this is why I become optimistic: love is everywhere, in any shape, in everyone, and it actually just doesn't end.
And for you who I'm in love with now
No, I'm not missing you and I'm lying.
You can understand it in any way you want. It was meant to be ambiguous.
Cheerio and I love you.
ps. Thank you Shirin my beloved senior and AIESEC UI LCP for reading my blog. It's amazing and surprising to know that someone actually reads this mumblings.
pps. This post is so pointless, I know. I just felt like writing so I did.
ppps. I really want to tell stories about the AIESEC Management Training in Puncak but I'm just too lazy to type all of them. sowwwyyy
pppps. I'm obsessed with Chev Estate but I know that dad wouldn't buy me that car. See, Pandawa would look like Estate but with a bit more details. Yes. Pandawa. The car of my dreams.
It's 22nd of January already, nearly the end of the month. Time passes really fast, huh? I haven't make new year resolution or such thing... To be honest, I never make any. I just want to live a better life and about how I'll do it, let's conclude it in 'Do good, do no harm, think before you act and trust God more than everything'.
But well, I can't remember since when this has become my habit but... 25th of January is my birthday. Last year I had a blast when my friends suddenly appeared in the middle of the night just to surprise me (this year I'll lock my door. I hate it if my sleep's disturbed but I have to admit I was happy that day. I still hate that my sleep was disturbed, though. Haha) and it was fun.
Fun is the only thing I can use to describe events. I hardly feel excited, most of the time I'm just interested and well, I just think that life is kinda fun right now so yeah, as long as I'm enjoying a thing I'd say it's fun and I love it.
Okay. Out of topic. Sorry.
I've been writing letters for myself to be read in the next 10 years (as if I'd remember, maybe I'll just read them all at once when I'm 25+). This is a good way to 'save' yourself and to spill out everything about you, you know. Write using pen so you can't erase a thing. Don't type so you can really read the emotion, the passion, the tears, the smiles, everything. Just do it manually, spontaneously, and enjoy it.
I can write pages for this thing. The best thing? I can evaluate myself. To see how my mind works, how my heart keeps things, how I communicate with people... just everything. And I can 'save' the memories about people I love, too. I know sometimes I say that I hate B, or maybe I love R (soooo random), but actually I think people have to admit that they can't help to love someone, even their enemies. We have the love to fight with them and will 'lose' something if they are not around. Admit it.
See, this is why I become optimistic: love is everywhere, in any shape, in everyone, and it actually just doesn't end.
And for you who I'm in love with now
No, I'm not missing you and I'm lying.
You can understand it in any way you want. It was meant to be ambiguous.
Cheerio and I love you.
ps. Thank you Shirin my beloved senior and AIESEC UI LCP for reading my blog. It's amazing and surprising to know that someone actually reads this mumblings.
pps. This post is so pointless, I know. I just felt like writing so I did.
ppps. I really want to tell stories about the AIESEC Management Training in Puncak but I'm just too lazy to type all of them. sowwwyyy
pppps. I'm obsessed with Chev Estate but I know that dad wouldn't buy me that car. See, Pandawa would look like Estate but with a bit more details. Yes. Pandawa. The car of my dreams.
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